College Decision Paralysis Is Real—Here's Why

Hello Friend,

Driving our old GMC dually pick-up down a dark stretch of Highway 160, I was listening to 96.5, KSLV—the classic rock station of the San Luis Valley, CO (and the only available FM channel). On this frigid January Friday evening, the Del Norte High School Tigers were playing the Ignacio Bobcats. I only had a 20-minute drive, and I wasn’t sure where my aux cord was, so my options were simple: radio or silence. I leaned into the background noise of the game and let my mind go along for the ride.

The squeak of the rubber soles on the polished wood court, the occasional cheer, and the voices of the announcers filled the cab. I reminisced about how excited I had been as a 7th grader to pull up my orange tube socks and lace up my basketball shoes. I also remembered sinking a few free throws and how the sheer passion of our coach, Mrs. Callahan, could be felt as we huddled to hear how we should handle the next stint of the game.

And somewhere in that easy, low-stakes choice—radio or no radio—my mind jumped tracks to a recent session I had with a student, and to how quickly choosing becomes overwhelming when the options multiply. When there are only two choices, the decision feels light. When there are many choices and many layers within each choice, it can feel paralyzing.

April is when this pressure looms large for many seniors, especially those holding a waitlist spot at a top-choice school alongside a list of acceptances that feel “just not as desirable.”

If I accept an offer there, what happens if I get off the waitlist? What if I go there…
…and I don’t like it,
…don’t fit in,
…don’t find my people?

The anxiety here isn’t a simple, single-layered thing; it’s more like a multi-tiered torte, topped with a precariously balanced pot of gold inscribed with promises like: “You’ve made it. You no longer have to worry about…”

…where you’re going to college,
…what you’ll say when another well-meaning adult asks,
…checking your grades portal obsessively,
…watching early decision classmates parade around in their merch while trying your hardest to be happy for them,
…or standing in your bedroom, wondering if you’ll still be here a year from now, while your friends are off living college life.

(Spoiler alert: while these promises largely come true at this juncture, they leave out what it actually takes to launch successfully into college. But by this point, even the dog is tired of the stress, so we take the BIG small wins and save that conversation for another day. Note to self: write that post.)

Consider Julie*, a student we worked with a few years ago. She was accepted to Bucknell and waitlisted at schools like Michigan, UVA, Colby, and Williams. In my view, Bucknell was a stronger fit given how much she valued close relationships with faculty. Still, the pull of larger, more recognizable institutions lingered—an outcome she continued to hope for.

Or Quinn*, who faced a different problem: an abundance of excellent options: Rutgers Honors College, Richmond, Rochester, Boston University, Northeastern, Wake Forest, Lehigh, Miami, Emory, WashU, and Rice. With so many strong choices, he found himself stuck, overwhelmed by the pressure to make “the right” decision.

There is a reason we call this THE BIG DECISION at Elevated Admissions. 

Social psychologist Barry Schwartz has written extensively about the burden of choice. His central argument: more options don’t necessarily lead to better outcomes. Instead, they often lead to more stress. Each additional option introduces new trade-offs, shaping not only our decisions but how we feel about them afterward. In The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less, he explains how too little choice can feel restrictive, but too much can lead to anxiety, dissatisfaction, and even paralysis.

As Schwartz puts it, “each new option adds to the list of trade-offs, and trade-offs have psychological consequences.”

This loaded choice of choosing a college, in the age of distraction and a non-stop stream of information (and misinformation) from an infinite number of sources, can be, well, a bugger.

So as we guide students toward College Decision Day on May 1, we work to counteract that overwhelm.

We return to our Three Tenets to Live and Apply By—which, in this moment, become the Three Tenets to Live and Choose By:

We remind students that choosing is hard, and that they are capable of hard things. We challenge perfectionism at its core and reinforce a critical truth: the student is by far the most important factor in their success, not the institution whose name appears on the diploma.

If you are wondering where Julie and Quinn landed. 

The rollercoaster ride went into overtime for Julie: first, she was offered a position off the waitlist at Michigan, and then, after the May 1st deadline, she was offered admission to Williams. She is loving her time in Williamstown, MA. 

As for Quinn, he ultimately decided to attend the University of Rochester given the incredible financial package he was offered, access to undergraduate research, a strong pre-med program (queue: medical school costs), and the competitive men’s club soccer team.

If you are wondering about the choices the EA Class of '26 so far has had to wrangle with, click HERE. I am so proud of each and every one of you.

* Names and absolute specifics have been modified to protect student identity. The story behind their stories is quite real.