Most Teens Think You Can Read Their Minds: How to Avoid the #1 Application Faceplant

What new couples don’t realize (how could they?) is that you’ll end up having the same argument—about the same core thing—for years, sometimes decades.

For Dave and me, that argument is usually about whether I’ve told him something. Just last week, I mentioned that I was going to book club Tuesday evening. He insisted I hadn’t told him. I was 98% certain that yes, I had told him. (I could even picture where we were standing in the kitchen, me scrubbing the broiler pan.) This verbal volley went back and forth longer than I care to admit. Then I heard the same point I have heard for the past 37 years: “Jessie, you are just like your dad; you speak Peckinese (my maiden name is Peck). You think something in your head, and then you believe those around you just know this. We don’t.”

My dad had a mastery of Peckinese, and he lived in Harold Peck land with flourish. Mom stopped making dinner in the late ‘70s because she would prepare a meal, and then it would sit on the counter, growing cold. Dad more often than not was at the airport hanging out with <insert name of any airport buddy> and working on the 1947 Stinson. Had he told my mother? It depends on who you asked. Dad would say, “Yes, of course,” while Mom would say, “No.” And this was, apparently, my inheritance. 

Determined not to be “just like [my] dad,” when Dave would make this “Peckinese Point,” I used to push back, and hard. Then, Dave and I would spiral into more tender areas of conflict. It has taken decades, but we tend to just move on now and go about whatever it was we were doing. (This is a highly recommended course of action that leads to a much more pleasant existence and a happier relationship.)

However, years of this conversation and marital experience have led me to understand that sometimes things I can feel CERTAIN I have communicated clearly have, in fact, not made it from my headspace out into the world.

Once I spotted this in myself, I began to notice it everywhere. Most surprisingly, in my students. Many of them are adept in Peckinese too (it’s not a language option on the Common App, which is surprising because so many students are fluent). It is most apparent when we build resumes, write activity descriptions, and prep for interviews. 

The most common application faceplant is assuming the reader already knows what you mean, or what I call "speaking in Peckinese." Inside the high school bubble, that works fine: classmates and teachers all understand the shorthand. But admissions officers aren’t in that bubble, so important details often get left unsaid. Of course, shorthand happens everywhere—at work, in hospitals, on sports teams—but it’s especially common in schools, where teens spend most of their waking hours. In applications, though, this habit backfires. Here’s an example of a Common App activity description faceplant, followed by the stronger version we built together (after about a dozen questions on my part).

Draft 1

Position/Leadership - Player [6 characters/50 characters allowed available]

Organization Name - volleyball team [15 characters/100 characters allowed available]

Description - varsity player in 10th grade, second team all-conference 2019 [61 characters/150 characters allowed available]

Draft 2 (or, 5 🙂)

Position/Leadership - Co-Captain/Full Rotation Outside Hitter  [40 characters/50 characters allowed available]

Organization Name - Oakridge Catholic Women’s Varsity Volleyball, Oakridge, PA [58 characters/100 characters allowed available]

Description - Honored to have led our team for two consecutive years, received Coach’s award for sportsmanship (‘18), and named to Second Team All-Conference (‘19) [149 characters/150 characters available]

Prior to jumping into writing activity descriptions, I share before-and-after examples like the one above. Then we dive into the work of extracting those pertinent details that they sometimes find difficult to articulate or even remember. Taking the time to excavate these requires a bit of patience and a skill at interpreting Peckinese. A skill I am still working on mastering. 

Next month’s book club is on the calendar; I might want to mention that to Dave.